This is an increasingly common phrase that seeks to help people who feel insecure or have low self esteem. But I don’t understand how it applies at all. A large proportion of what we do is aligned with the societal paradigm for our own survival. What others think of us is of upmost importance because if they think of us in a certain way, it may lead them to destructive actions against us. What other people think of me is important for my very survival. Can someone help me understand this phrase in the way it’s meant to be understood? Thanks!
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I like to think of it as someone else’s opinion is based strictly on their perception and that is very objectively very little information. It’s also exhausting making attempts to be likeable to everyone, so just be you. If it hits, great. If not, whatever. I like the saying “one can be the sweetest peach in the world and some people just don’t like peaches”.
I like to think of it as someone else’s opinion is based strictly on their perception and that is very objectively very little information. It’s also exhausting making attempts to be likeable to everyone, so just be you. If it hits, great. If not, whatever. I like the saying “one can be the sweetest peach in the world and some people just don’t like peaches”.
Surely what others think about you is important, to at least some degree. But what’s most important is what you think about you. There will always be people out there who will think poorly of you, for one reason or another. So trying to change yourself in an attempt to please others is a never ending exercise. Instead, your “business” should be in changing yourself so that you are happy with who you are.
Surely what others think about you is important, to at least some degree. But what’s most important is what you think about you. There will always be people out there who will think poorly of you, for one reason or another. So trying to change yourself in an attempt to please others is a never ending exercise. Instead, your “business” should be in changing yourself so that you are happy with who you are.
Surely what others think about you is important, to at least some degree. But what’s most important is what you think about you. There will always be people out there who will think poorly of you, for one reason or another. So trying to change yourself in an attempt to please others is a never ending exercise. Instead, your “business” should be in changing yourself so that you are happy with who you are.
I think this phrase is meant to be understood as referring only to superficial things.
Don’t worry about your shirt not looking cool enough to impress people. That’s superficial. Don’t worry about judgement from others about your hobbies or what music you like to listen to. It’s superficial. And if someone insults you and calls you dumb because they don’t like something you said? Don’t change yourself just to please their superficial opinions.
But for more serious things, this no longer applies. You should care what your teacher thinks of you academically because you are being graded. You should care what your close friends think of you or find new friends if they don’t respect and value you.
So yeah I think this phrase is misleading overall. It’s nice when it can be used to soothe someone’s anxiety about an embarrassing situation they were in. But it doesn’t really work in all scenarios. Only superficial ones.
I think this phrase is meant to be understood as referring only to superficial things.
Don’t worry about your shirt not looking cool enough to impress people. That’s superficial. Don’t worry about judgement from others about your hobbies or what music you like to listen to. It’s superficial. And if someone insults you and calls you dumb because they don’t like something you said? Don’t change yourself just to please their superficial opinions.
But for more serious things, this no longer applies. You should care what your teacher thinks of you academically because you are being graded. You should care what your close friends think of you or find new friends if they don’t respect and value you.
So yeah I think this phrase is misleading overall. It’s nice when it can be used to soothe someone’s anxiety about an embarrassing situation they were in. But it doesn’t really work in all scenarios. Only superficial ones.
I think this phrase is meant to be understood as referring only to superficial things.
Don’t worry about your shirt not looking cool enough to impress people. That’s superficial. Don’t worry about judgement from others about your hobbies or what music you like to listen to. It’s superficial. And if someone insults you and calls you dumb because they don’t like something you said? Don’t change yourself just to please their superficial opinions.
But for more serious things, this no longer applies. You should care what your teacher thinks of you academically because you are being graded. You should care what your close friends think of you or find new friends if they don’t respect and value you.
So yeah I think this phrase is misleading overall. It’s nice when it can be used to soothe someone’s anxiety about an embarrassing situation they were in. But it doesn’t really work in all scenarios. Only superficial ones.
Think of it the other way around.
Let’s say I send a text to an old friend that says, “Hey, how’s it going?”
A few hours go by, and I start to think that I must have texted the wrong person, because my friend always responds quickly. So I check and I see it’s the right number, but that doesn’t help my worry.
Another few hours go by, and I start to think that I might have offended them somehow. So I think about our last interaction, a lot. I start to feel resigned that I won’t get a response and I wonder how my friend could be so unforgiving.
Another few hours pass, and I start to worry that maybe they’re dead. So I start to look for an obituary.
Then my friend finally texts back to say that he just got back from a camping trip, and I text back, “Great! I wanted to invite you to my BBQ next weekend.”
Everything in the quotation marks is my friend’s business. All the things I’ve thought in between is a private matter, and none of my friend’s business at all.
Think of it the other way around.
Let’s say I send a text to an old friend that says, “Hey, how’s it going?”
A few hours go by, and I start to think that I must have texted the wrong person, because my friend always responds quickly. So I check and I see it’s the right number, but that doesn’t help my worry.
Another few hours go by, and I start to think that I might have offended them somehow. So I think about our last interaction, a lot. I start to feel resigned that I won’t get a response and I wonder how my friend could be so unforgiving.
Another few hours pass, and I start to worry that maybe they’re dead. So I start to look for an obituary.
Then my friend finally texts back to say that he just got back from a camping trip, and I text back, “Great! I wanted to invite you to my BBQ next weekend.”
Everything in the quotation marks is my friend’s business. All the things I’ve thought in between is a private matter, and none of my friend’s business at all.
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