Why do we usually get mental blocked when being asked on the spot?
In: Other
If by ‘on the spot’ you mean that a person asks a question abruptly, instead of in a natural flow of conversation, probably because your brain is processing possible ulterior motives.
Trying to get into the right mental headspace to answer a question based on your knowledge (as opposed to a question about some past behavior) can take a second. In the first case, when your brain doesn’t immediately come up with an answer and that awkward pause begins to develop, self-doubt, negative self-image, and concerns about what the other person is thinking can begin creeping in and steal focus from the thought processes needed to actually come up with an answer:
> Why don’t I know this?
> > Oh, no! They’re just staring at me; I bet they think I’m not that smart!
> Why can’t I remember their name/what our anniversary is (etc.)?
> > They probably think I really don’t care about them!
And on and on.
A way to short-circuit that is to break the awkward silence and admit the difficulty in immediately coming up with the information:
> Oh, gosh! I know I know the answer, please just give me a second. It will come back to me, etc.
If, on the other hand, it is a question about some past behavior that they are presumably not happy with and you’re struggling to find a way to spin it to CYA or make yourself look better…. best of luck! Better to just own it and apologize then to obviously struggle to stammer out some unbelievable excuse, IMHO.
I would say the TL;DR version of this is it boils down to anxiety paralysis on some level. 🙂
A huge part of the problem is that your memories are not like computer files – it’s a series of clues leading to information that your brain has to recall.
The links can get weak over time, also they don’t form on the spot. That’s why you have to rehearse things.
So if some one comes up to you and says “Quick! What’s the name of your Uncle’s girlfriend?” Your brain may ‘freeze’ because those links are weak and just can’t cough up that information on the spot.
If you have rehearsed something, you can minimize the ‘freeze’ – but only if it’s what you’ve rehearsed.
When I was sent to the Army promotion board – I had to drill and drill answers beforehand AND have a prepared response in case if forgot something. Just sitting there like a deer in the headlights was a NO-GO. Even then, that took work to get that down.
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