Remeber we are assuming I’m 5 year old kid so you can’t judge me for being stupid or ignorant.
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Trauma dumping is the practice of unloading a lot of information that is traumatic or at least some combination of upsetting, serious, stressful, etc. on someone who wasn’t expecting it or was not properly prepared for it, which can make it very difficult to handle on a social or emotional level for that person.
Therapy, because it is done in a very specific context with the other party (the therapist) being trained for it and most importantly *knowing* that it’s coming, inviting the sharing of that information, having a professional distance and relationship with the person sharing that information, does not have that same negative impact, and so it is okay and appropriate to do.
Trauma dumping is when you treat someone as your therapist, who likely isn’t trained for it and didn’t agree to be your therapist.
Therapy is when you do that with someone who is and did.
A therapist is trained to be able to distinguish unhealthy venting/dumping and find the important parts in what you discuss with them.
A therapist is trained to respond non-judgementally and constructively to help you process your issues as well as just listening when that’s what you need.
A therapist is trained to be emotionally resilient enough to hear about your trauma and have appropriate professional boundaries if that becomes too much for them or you.
A therapist is able to be detatched from the situation and impartial without letting their emotions impact their judgement or you.
The bestie or internet stranger you’re trauma dumping to is none of those.
Trauma dumping is just you talking about your trauma to a random person.
Talking about trauma is indeed part of therapy, but it’s just one early step. The rest of the therapy involves more work between you and your therapist, such as teaching you about your emotions, helping you work through them, reframing cognitive distortions, coming up with strategies to manage your mental wellbeing, May also include medication or even hospitalization in severe cases.
A therapist is trained to help you process trauma whereas trauma dumping is more of a vent. Also there are many professional platforms that make it even more inappropriate. Like if a parent or teacher vents about their divorce to a child. Inappropriate. Whereas they can do that with a therapist or peer support group.
I have asked a similar question to my therapist. Her answer was quite good I thought and feel it sums up the difference.
Imagine you have a friend that is a mechanic, if you constantly ask that friend for favours looking at your car when it breakdown or have any niggles, this like trauma dumping.
However, if everytime your car breaks down you book it into a garage this would be therapy.
The difference one is a willing transaction made by both parties. One is taking advantage and putting your problems on someone without any agreement.
Therapist gets paid for it.
Friends or family don’t get paid for it. Furthermore, friends and family may not have the space.
It’s consensual trauma dumping, basically. They chose to go to school for years so they could be a reliable person to trauma dump onto. When I agree to smoke / drink with someone and they start unloading their deepest darkest secrets on me, I never asked for that and it makes me uncomfortable, especially if we just met. I’m not trained and have my own PTSD to deal with.
Therapy requires that you yourself are looking to solve the issues that are causing you anguish, or at least the parts of them that you can alter or influence. Your therapist should not just reply with “damn, that’s awful.” A good therapist will challenge your assertions and you should try your best to be receptive to their feedback or offer more detail if you feel misunderstood.
A lot of people balk at the first sign of their therapist pushing back. People really think they’re just gonna walk into a room and have someone validate all their feelings and tell them they’re right to feel all this anguish because of what they’ve been through. Sometimes, that is the case and the therapist is right to do that, and other times they’ll try and get the patient to see how they’re compounding their pain themselves.
Therapy is not a silver bullet for one’s mental health and it can take years before the lessons taken from therapy calcify into habits/instincts.
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