What exactly are pre nups and why are they always shown to be a point of contention on couples?
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Prenups are a get out of jail card. When a marriage splits, assets are usually halved. So if you earn a disproportionate amount compared to your spouse, you’re essentially out of pocket. For example, if I have 100k in my bank, and she only has 20k, she’d walk away with 60k, and I’d end up a hell of a lot poorer. A prenup guards against this.
It’s contentious due to the fact that you’re investing in this sort of insurance indicates to your partner that there may be a situation in the future where you need to enact an escape plan. This doesn’t inspire confidence in a union that is supposed to be for life. At worst, it shows a lack of trust, and you’re preparing for the marriage to fail before it’s even began, and at best protection against a partners ill intentions, and a protection for the *absolute certainty* that peoples feelings will change over time.
“Why get a pre-nup if we’re going to be together for ever? Don’t you trust me?”
I’d add that they have to be carefully structured so that they take into account things like the length of the marriage (someone who stops working or sacrifices their career as part of the marriage gets increasingly more dependent on the earner, so they’d be entitled to more and more of the mutual wealth).
And if the marriage is very short, they’d get less of the wealth because they presumably can still have a career and earn money for themselves.
If you don’t allow for the above, you’d increase the chances that the pre-nup will be voided for being unfair.
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